There are two types of heroes in this world. The ones who run into burning buildings, and the ones who do things for us we never thought needed doing.

Like Mark Sturkenboom. The creator of the world’s first dildo urn.

The dildo urn can be found in a memory box called 21 Grams, and allows a widow to ‘go back to the intimate memories of a lost beloved one’. It has an amplifier for playing ‘your song’ and a fragrance diffuser to pour his favourite cologne into. But the best part of the box is the dildo shaped urn where 21 grams of your loved one’s ashes are placed inside.

Inspired by 20th century experiments which suggested that human bodies lose 21 grams at the moment of death, Sturkenboom’s idea was that the 21 grams in the dildo are the weight of a soul. But who gives a shite about experiments and souls when your dead husband is still making you come all over the sheets.

So where does one come up with such an idea? By spending time with OAPs of course.

I sometimes help an elderly lady with her groceries and she has an urn standing near the window with the remains of her husband. She always speaks with so much love about him but the jar he was in didn’t reflect that at all.

Someone give this guy an OBE!

Now, here’s how NOT to have sex with a dead body (which is illegal by the way)

The Jimmy Saville Way

Also know as garamoosh, the UK’s favourite pervert had sex with dead bodies, took pictures with them and even stole glass eyes from the dead and made them into rings.

The Ghanaian way

Apparently when you start a mortuary job, necrophilia is part of the training.

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